No, not that kind.
I'm officially back in the saddle. If I fall off this horse again, I am going to be super pissed.
My levels are negative, so we are once more on the road to motherhood. Have I mentioned I'm terrified? I mean, really, let's do this thing correctly. You know what they say...the fourth time's a charm!
I'm sick of receiving coupons for formula, samples of diapers, magazines that say, "Your baby at X months," and baby lotion I can't use. This time, the fourth time, I will not be so stupid (maybe) as to sign up for everything under the sun related to babies until I am more than positive this might work. I am, however, stupid enough to save that crap in the baby's room. I'm really good at cracking the door open (because if you crack it rather than open it, the room doesn't really exist and all is well), chunking it in there, and slamming it quickly. There is a mound about 2 feet high of it, and I better get to use it soon.
I've got my game face on and my hurdle jumping shoes laced. For now, I say...Three Cheers for Number Two!
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3 comments:
Melissa,
I'm so sorry you had to stay seated. Your post brought tears to my eyes. I have been in that spot.
My babies Tess & Oliver were born at 20 weeks. It's been two years since I had to tell them good bye. I will miss them and mourn them forever.
I have been blessed with a baby girl. She will never replace her brother and sister but she has healed my broken heart as much as it ever could be.
Our road was long and hard. Three IUIs, 3 fresh IVF cycles, 1 FET. T&O lost at 20 weeks, one early m/c, one cancelled cycle, one amazing-high-risk-very-conservative-OB, one strong cerclage, 16 weeks of bed rest (6 in the hospital) and one beautiful baby girl born at 35.5 weeks. Healthy.
I am sending you many good thoughts that you will get your happy ending soon. After all you have been through you deserve that and so much more.
keep on keepin' on.
deep breath. deeeeeeep breath.
those were the two mantras I lived by, and still do!
heather
oops. sorry meant to post that on your post before this one...
Argh... I know what you mean about those friendly little reminders that come in the snail mail, email, and when you sign into American Baby or Babycenter. I've had three miscarriages in the past year, and can tell you exactly how old two of them would be at this age, and how far along I would have been with the third. All, thanks to those reminders. And, well, it doesn't help that I neurotically try to remember those dates, out of fear that I will desecrate the memory of those babies if I don't remember their ages.
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