Wednesday, March 26, 2008

A Bright Ending To The Day

Thank you, Secret Admirer, for my favorite flowers adorning my porch and making me SMILE this afternoon. They are beautiful and changed my foul mood quickly!

Monday, March 24, 2008

Jimmy Crack Corn

And, you guessed it.

I don't really freaking care.

Kuddos to the ones that can feel great, look great, exercise, speak kind words, give a crap about what they wear, breathe, eat without wanting to spew, walk around without fire inside of them, clean their houses, and smile during the last weeks of pregnancy. Clearly, I am not one of them.

I can't even say the Pledge of Allegiance in the morning without becoming winded with each sentence. And now that we say the Pledge to the Texas flag, I'm really screwed. Read a book to the kids? Ha! That's a good one...pointing out the craft of writing within high quality literature is far from my daily agenda.

Walking down the hallway is about to require a Hoveround. The question is, how far do I take this? How far do I push my 4'11" frame to keep working when I am crawling to the bathroom in the middle of the night?

I want to work as long as possible to have more time with her once she's here. So, I've got to stop whining.
Be grateful - although, trust me, I am with every breath of fire.
Three weeks left of work.
Suck it up.

Thursday, March 20, 2008

Don't Let the Mother Burn

Dear Body,

I'm not certain that you realize this so I will glady bring it directly to your attention.

There is a burn ban in effect in surrounding counties. Although our immediate area lifted their burn ban just days ago, your potential fire will still create havoc if it is not squelched quickly. Quite frankly, there is enough fire within my chest to light the entire state of Texas and burn every living and nonliving thing in its path.

Doesn't it concern you that our home backs up to a heavily wooded ranch? Do you think living with a firefighter gives you permission to torment me with a 24/7 raging burn? Is it okay to continue hurling food up my esophogus just for giggles?
No more, I say.

Spring began at 12:48am yesterday and while it typically brings rain highly capable of dousing a roaring bonfire to these parts of Texas, a torrential downpour near your awesome powers would be equivalent to spitting in Hell and expecting dramatic results immediately.

This is really getting old and I respectfully request you extinguish this blaze permanently as I have dealt with your nasty ways for the past 19 weeks...and that is a long damn time, I tell you. I have 5 weeks left and a little reprieve would be just freaking awesome.

And while you're at it, getting over yourself and all, talk to my hips too. Mmmm, k?

Respectfully but VERY seriously,

The Landlord

Wednesday, March 19, 2008

Certainly Couldn't Have Said It Better Myself

Scene: The front porch chaos during school dismissal

Sweet 2nd Grader: "Mrs. V. are you going to have a baby?"

Me: "Yes."

Sweet 2nd Grader (without missing a beat): "I hope your baby doesn't die."

Me (pausing slightly): " too."

Sweet 2nd Grader: "Bye!"

So matter of fact and so true.
33 weeks today and the c-section is scheduled.
Please let this happen because I'm not sure I could do this again if it didn't.

Tuesday, March 11, 2008


It's getting tempting to be rude to people like this. However, it's not worth it...

W.Foods Checker: "When is your baby due?"

Me: "In May, but not soon enough."

W.Foods Checker: "Oh, don't talk to me about that. That's nonsense."

Me: "I mean I just want her out safely."

W.Foods Checker: "Well, I have four boys. I breastfed one of them while pregnant with twins. Then, when the twins came, I breastfed all three of them at once. And, they were 6 pounds each. What you've got going on there (pointing to my belly) is nothing. You don't know how hard it is until you carry twins to full term."

Me: "Yes, that is certainly commendable."

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

Showered With Love x 2

My team, my heart and soul at work, gave us the most amazing shower at school last week. Every detail was perfect from the individually floral taped Gerber Daisies, the cake that matched Kallie's bedding, to the "to die for" punch. A slideshow and song, set to Kallie's nursery theme, played while guests were arriving. I can't wait to light Kallie's candle that sat by the guest book, along with the little tiny shoes and a poem. My sweet team thoughtfully signed messages from the heart in Kallie's Twelve Gifts of Birth book. And, most of all, the company was perfect.

My high school (and elementary school!) friends also gave me the most creative shower with thoughtful touches at every turn on Saturday. I was greeted with a pink fuzzy "Mommy" embroidered robe with matching slippers (flip flops, yeah!) and very soon the house was transformed into a spa. Students from a local beauty school came and treated us to manicures and pedicures of our choice. The cake was a perfect match with Kallie's bedding, the flowers were beautifully arranged and fragrant, and I am still craving Creme Brulee french toast after tasting the yummy food (complete with a chocolate fountain!). A beautifully framed picture we had not even seen yet of My Babe's hands and my hands around my belly sat in the entry way. And, Kallie will forever read the framed quotes of my sweet friends that wrote why My Babe and I would make good parents. It was amazing.

Monday, March 3, 2008

No Horns

Thank goodness for that.