I had my first swim class today. Let's just say that I was in a little bit of a foul mood about it before going. I don't like new people, I don't like new places, I don't like being incompetent, and I certainly don't like a nervous stomach. Let's get this straight...I know how to swim, but I would like to get better at technique and most importantly - breathing properly.
This afternoon I managed to once again work myself into such a frenzy about this new risk that I was taking that I almost didn't go. It didn't make things any better when I hear my name screamed across the entire pool by the sweet father and family of a kindergartner I taught this past year. A brief conversation ensues...
Him: "Mrs. V! What are YOU doing here?"
Me: "Oh, well I'm just taking a swim class."
Him: "You don't know how to swim?!?!?"
Me: "Well, yes, I can swim but I'm not too great at the breathing thing while swimming freestyle. I'm a little nervous."
Him: "Wow! Everyone should know how to swim. I mean, that's a survival skill! That's great that you are learning!"
Me: "Well, actually, I know how to swim, I just want to get better."
Him: "Oh, I can't believe it! That is great that you are trying to learn!"
Me: "Yes, I'm sure trying!"
Him (talking to daughter): "________, tell Mrs. V. not to be nervous!"
Does it matter that he thinks I can't swim? Absolutely not - and it was a great lesson in "just let it be." I tried to enjoy the moment of seeing him and the rest of the family... of course while slightly freaking out on the inside as I am standing there in a bathing suit. After all the negativity, nerves, and non-necessary nincompoopery, the swim class went well. Even after they called the Nitro Swimming instructor over to help me with my breathing and we proceeded to bob up and down like children.
Risk-taking is not my cup of tea. I like the known, predictable and common. It sounds silly at the ripe young age of 31 to be so extremely afraid of new adventures and new situations. However, I am pushing myself a little more each day. Now I must learn to change my thinking in order to change my life. I must work on the negative thoughts that plague my being, freeze my insides, and make things so much harder for me than they should be.
Yes, I'm maturing a little more each day.
Wanna know what else is maturing? The big fat beast of a follicle Dr. V. found today. Yippee! I will take the Ovidrel shot tonight!