Sunday, June 17, 2007

My Shadow

My Babe gladly takes backseat to all of my many emotions, trials, and tribulations. We seem to be consumed with my moods, my infertility, and my everything. When I find myself wallowing in the sorrow of losing our babies, I have to remind myself that I am not the only one that has lost four children. My Babe may not have experienced the pregnancies and deliveries first hand, but he held my hand throughout. I know the thoughts plaque his mind daily - the "What ifs?" and the "Whys?" I know he hurts.

Today was a day made especially for My Babe. He got to pick what we ate (a once in a lifetime opportunity...I assure you), he got to pick what we did/did not do. He was completely in charge of the day. It felt so nice and made me feel sad at the same time. How is it that I have grown so far from taking care of him and his needs/wants? This was a great day to bring me back to my senses.

The message at church today was exactly on target for everything I know without a doubt My Babe will be when he has the chance to parent. He will be the most present, committed provider, protector, mentor and friend. I cannot wait to experience it with him.

Happy Father's Day to My Babe, my shadow, and the best daddy ever to our four angels in Heaven.

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

to love and to cherish....

I know, I'm always glad for those wake-up calls.

Sunny said...

Beautiful!!!

Andria and Co. said...

aww... happy belated father's day to babe!

Anonymous said...

I'm ready for a new post...nudge, nudge :) Good luck tonight, my friend!