I don't feel good, so this morning I was contemplating not attending the workshop on teaching writing I signed up for today. However, a phrase I remember from the book, Today Matters , "I will make and keep proper commitments" kept playing over and over in my clogged up/sore throat/allergy having head. Within 2 hours of arrival, I felt like I learned more than I had in a very long time. Randy, the presenter and author of several wonderful books about teaching, lit the spark again. He also confirmed what I am doing in my own personal life on a daily basis...writing.
Even though I write daily to model for my students, I've just recently started daily writing of my thoughts and emotions. Mostly to get it out of my head before it spontaneously combusts. I've struggled with being "okay" with the thoughts that I have, simply because a lot of times they are downright weird and not very pretty. However, every single person in this world has random, not pretty thoughts, and there is something great about being brave enough to get them out and, especially, to share them with others. Perhaps the most important thing he said today about writing was, "Reach back into your memory and accept what occurs to you." So, if I want to entertain the idea of writing about soap, cars, or Dr. Jerk, it's okay, because Randy said so...and he's my new BFF, you know.
I'm glad I kept my commitment today.
Baby-Making Update: My HCG was 12 and Progesterone was .5. I cannot take Provera until my HCG is 0. I will have my blood checked again on Friday and hopefully we can get this train on the right track!
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3 comments:
Melissa,
Sharing your soul so openly and eloquently is nothing short of a miracle. As I reflect on your writing I am seeing Niagra Falls from an arial view and wathching the water flow, refresh, begin a new cycle. Just like life is doing with you.
How tragedy builds and reveals character. I wish we didn't have to suffer through bleeding hearts to know the joy but I must say people who have lived through tragedy are reflective people thankful for the paths they have traveled.
You will never take for granted those babies when you get them...
So glad you were able to keep your committment. Good for you! Hoping that your HCG goes to zero very soon.
Just came across your blog and read all the way back. Your strength is astounding. Good luck going forward.
Anns
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