Monday, April 9, 2007
Do You Have Joy?
I was asked this today in response to my blog. This is to be expected as this blog in its entirety smells of sorrow and bitterness. However, those that spend time with me on a daily basis know differently. Let's just say, there are two sides to Melissa. The Melissa that goes out in public, teaches school, laughs and plays with the children, sees parents on a daily basis, rejoices in other people's fortunes, truly cares about other people's children, and interacts with the world in general is the one that smiles...and means it. The Melissa that comes home to an empty house and a mind full of worry, sadness, and unanswered questions is the one that writes this blog. Very few people see this Melissa as she only comes out at night, mostly to herself, and sometimes to Hubby. Since Sad Melissa is nocturnal, even her best friends have no idea she exsists, because most of the time that's just easier. Most have no idea there are two of me, some are just learning, and some probably think I'm schizophrenic. Rightly so, but tread lightly in your judgment. Although I cannot sing joy from the rooftops yet, I will get there. For now, I will write through my emotions as twisted as they are and maybe even laugh a little, because good gracious...if I don't, I'll become even more psycho!